THE LOVE AND LIGHT DANCE

Mama Sweet: Yeah! School is in!! I borrowed a friend's idea and created 1st day of school signs. The girls decorated their respective "First Day of 1st grade/Pre-K" signs and we took pictures in our same place by the front door. Since they each started on different days, we hung the poster in the entry way for everyone to see. They were so excited! The girls will be able to put their pictures in order of the signs and have a visual growth chart. In Pre-K, I was below the doorbell. By 1st grade, I was taller than the doorbell. Such a sweet school journal!

I also started a survey a few years ago where they have to answer the same questions every year. A few of the questions include: favorite color, best friend, favorite activity and the meaning of life. They also have to write their name. It has been so fun to compare year after year how much their answers have already changed. I can't wait to give them a completed book upon their college graduation so they can answer their own question, "Mama, what is the meaning of life?"


Mama Sour: My girls have been missing and asking so many questions about my mom who became an angel almost two and a half years ago. It breaks my heart every time I have to explain that she lives in heaven and we live here and that we won't see her anymore. To help them, I had them each create their own memory boxes. They painted and stickered them and made them very special. Inside, they placed pictures and trinkets that remind them of her. It has been such a helpful tool for everyone and a tangible place for them to visit.

I also saw "EAT, PRAY, LOVE" this week and was so moved by one particular line. Julia Roberts was envisioning a scene with her husband where she says goodbye and he says, "But I'll miss you." She says, "Go ahead and miss me. Then, send me love and light and be done." First, I started bawling...then I realized, I need to make sure my girls (and I) have the chance to feel all the emotions we need to embrace such a loss. Once we have done that, we need to send our love and be done. So, I've added the Sweet and Sour Mama spin and told the girls, "it's natural to miss her but let's also be sure to send her lots of love and light." We have now started the "love and light" dance where we throw lots of kisses and happiness her way together. It is such a sweet sour and a happy dance we'll always remember.

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE APPROACH

Mama Sweet: I have the best cleaning sweet ever! The girls have started cleaning their toy room up to the iCarly "Leave it all to me" theme song. It is a fun upbeat song and they are so motivated to clean up the room before the song is over. It has been AMAZING! We race to clean up while singing along. Once the room is clean, we play the song one more time for a three person dance party. It has been such a clean, fun sweet!!

Mama Sour: The summer has been filled with its share of bickering between the girls. Our four year old still struggles to find her "words" to resolve conflict instead of hitting, pushing, biting, etc. I try to intervene to help her find them and to prevent too much harm from being inflicted on my six year old. Over the months, I would find myself approaching them very authoritatively which seemed only to escalate the situation. It became very sour for everyone involved.

However, I changed my approach and it has changed everything. I started by raising my knees up as high as I could as I walked toward them. (It is TOTALLY goofy but the goofiness allowed me to gain some positive perspective and lose some of the frustration from their continued fighting). When I arrived at the girls, I asked in my silliest voice," What's the matter?” This diffused the situation most of the time. When it did not correct the situation, I pretended to look for something in my four year olds' mouth asking her, "Where are those nice words? Where did they go?" She started laughing uncontrollably and found the words to work it out nicely with her sister. It has been a long road to these "nice words" but I finally feel like we are getting somewhere sweet!

THE SECRET KNOCK

Mama Sweet: We just returned from a wonderful week in Maui. The girls’ restaurant manners were fantastic and we all had an amazing time. While at dinner, our four year old would start to get antsy and begin to get upset. My husband would lean down to her and say, "Can I tell you a secret?" She would instantly stay still and listen. His secrets were usually explaining that we needed to have nice manners and then he would begin a different table game such as “I Spy” or the “Hawaii game,” which consisted of a guessing game of objects found in …Hawaii. It was such a sweet to watch our Sweet Daddy in action!


Mama Sour: Teeth brushing seems to be an ongoing challenge in our house as I feel like I am always writing about this subject. As usual, my four year old did not want to brush her teeth. She was giving it all she had....screaming on the floor, pounding and making quite the scene. Refusing to give in, I walked away and asked, "But do you know the secret knock to get in?" Immediately, this peaked her interest and she popped up off the floor and followed me to the bathroom...almost. I closed the door before she could get there and asked her for the secret knock. She went through a couple different patterns before I finally said, "You got it!" Once she was inside, she was thrilled to have won the ticket to brush her teeth. She was even more excited that she was able to deem the acceptable secret knock for her sister who now also wanted to play. One of these days, we won't have to work so hard for clean teeth!

THE ANIMAL GAME

Mama Sweet: I have been a staunch supporter of owning a car without a DVD player. I make our family play games, sing songs, read books and tell jokes on our many vacations traveling by car. Of course they complain, but I do believe they will thank me when they are grown as they think back on all of their childhood laughter. We went away this weekend and had the sweetest time in the car. We played: “guess the animal;” “guess the color;” and “guess the object.” All three separate games involved someone picking something from the category and the rest of the car guessing the answer via clues. The girls were laughing and cheering and having the best time. It was so much sweeter than DVD evoked silence.

Mama Sweet: We have kept an incredibly hectic schedule this summer and today was the first day of blissful summer freedom. So, we decided it would be pajama day. We stayed in our pajamas, ate pink cookies, played games and had a fantastic time. At one point, I asked my six year old what she was doing and she said, "Nothing." I said, "Doesn’t that feel great? That is one of the many wonderful parts of summer." I thought to myself how seldom we allow our busy selves to do "nothing" yet it is so important. I feel so much more centered and sweeter moving into my mama week.

No Sours today!

YES! DAY

Mama Sweet: My four year old has been acting out lately because we have been keeping an incredibly hectic summer schedule. I decided to try a new prescription for her mood (and no it was not more cowbell). I chose to give her a "yes" day. Anything she asked to do, I replied, "yes." I did not tell her it was a yes day; I merely changed my response to her questions and took the morning off from my own responsibilities. We played games, made fake snow, enjoyed a picnic and colored. We had the best day and it totally improved her behavior. That evening, her sweet of the day was "that mama and I could stay home all day today." It was so sweet. I know every day can not be a yes day but I think I am going to make this a regular part of my discipline strategy. :)




Mama Sour: Summer hours = summer bedtimes = summer bedtime battles. Yikes! The girls have been having a blast this summer but are completely exhausted. Bedtime has become a very sour three ring circus of requests, trips to the bathroom and very little peaceful nodding off. I realized it was time for a new strategy. It started out simply enough. My four year old has decided that she wants to paint her room purple. I told her I was happy to do so when she stayed in bed for 60 days straight. Cue the rainbow chart. I have drawn a chart for both girls to check off every night in the shape of a rainbow, their passion of the week. If they stay in bed and go right to sleep, they get to mark off a box in the morning. They are thrilled with this concept and our household finally has its storybook bedtime routine back!

WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE

Mama Sweet: I picked up my eldest daughter from her jungle-themed summer camp. In need of more attention since she was not attending the camp, my younger daughter refused to walk to the car. Yes, it was an absolute sit-in protest in front of our church. It was lovely! Instead of getting upset, I asked them both which jungle animals we were going to be on their way to the car. My protester immediately stood up and screamed, "Giraffe." Mama, of course, was the elephant so that the girls could hold onto my trunk while crossing the parking lot and my six year old was a Zebra. Arms, motions, and sounds included, we were your regular African herd strolling to our car. We were all laughing and having a great time. It was so sweet.

Mama Sour: I took my daughter to the doctor and she refused to pick up the toys in the office. I asked her if she could count to ten. She said, "Of course Mama!" I then asked her to count to ten while placing the toys inside the box. Suddenly, this became a new challenge and certainly not a chore. The toys were cleaned up in less than a minute. It was no longer a sour power struggle but a fun game for my spirited little girl!

Mama Sweet and Sour: I apologize for my absence in posting. Between adjusting to new summer hours, camps, travel, birthdays and helping to bring closure to my brother's life, I have not felt like I have not been the most inspiring mama. It has been hard and I have definitely been spread too thin. Things are starting to find its order and I feel like I have stories to share again. Our priest said one thing that really resonated with me. Like all of us mamas striving to do our best in the world-I plan, I volunteer, I help our friends in need. At times, we let our hair down and don't always give our home the best of what we give to the outside world. This priest said, "Charity begins at home." It is so true and this mantra helped me to realize that I need to make sure that I don't allow my exhaustion to penetrate my family. I need to protect my inner circle and make changes accordingly so I have enough to give to them. When my girls are grown, I want them to look back on their life with fondness and love. These past few weeks have definitely had both sweet and sour moments. Thank you for your understanding and I am looking forward to sharing more summer adventures with you!

MAIL ME MAMA!!

Mama Sweet: One of my favorite sweets is getting my girls out of their bath. We play a game called "Getting Mailed." I ask one of them,"Where do you want to be mailed?" The first one jumps out. I wrap her up in a towel and she tells me where she would like to be mailed. I write the address on the outside of the towel package and put a stamp on it. Then, the postal adventure begins. While on my bouncing knees, the mailman picks up the package and he walks, stumbles, trips, gets into his truck, blows a tire, needs gas and goes around corners. The package gets to the post office, goes on the conveyor belt and gets a postmark. Depending on the destination, the mailman walks, takes magic carpets, pirate ships or planes to deliver the package. My girls have been delivered to Daddy (which includes an elevator ride to his office), Grandma, Ariel, Jasmine and friends around the corner. Once the package arrives, I pretend to be the recipient and open it with great surprise. It has become a sweet for all of us and something the girls ask for every night. Now, the girls get so excited whenever they see a mail carrier or mail truck around town. They literally scream out the window and say,” Mama Look! The Postman!!” So sweet.

Mama Sour: Our bathtub is filled with toys. The girls can barely sit down. Last week, they asked for a toy in the cupboard and I couldn't find it. So, I had a brainstorm on how I could solve this problem. I took a bunch of zippered laundry bags and started grouping the bathroom toys together in bags- Letters, duckies, etc. Now, when I go to look for a toy, all I have to do is grab one of the bags. They also allow the toys to dry out overnight. The toys are not so sour anymore.